BE QUICK TO HEAR AND SLOW TO SPEAK

I'd had it on my mind for quite some time to borrow the book, The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck which was published in 1978. I'd heard it quoted recently in church and I couldn't find it in the library but since my children have so many books in their house, I accidentally stumbled upon it while dusting.

I sat down to read over coffee and found it interesting that it spoke so much about children and then it spoke the following: "The principal form that the work of love takes is attention."....."By far the most common and important way in which we can exercise our attention is by listening.....true listening, no matter how brief, requires tremendous effort. First of all, it requires total concentration. You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time."

Then the author says this: "Since true listening is love in action, nowhere is it more appropriate than in marriage. Yet most couples never truly listen to each other. Couples are often surprised, even horrified, when we suggest to them that among the things they should do is talk to each other by appointment. Yet true listening can occur only when time is set aside for it and conditions are supportive of it. It cannot occur when people are driving, or cooking or tired and anxious to sleep or easily interrupted or in a hurry. Romantic "love" is effortless, and couples are frequently reluctant to shoulder the effort and discipline of true love and listening."

Scott Peck goes on to say, "while it is true that one's capacity to truly listen may improve it never becomes effortless." He mentions how his mind wanders during counseling sessions and he'll say "I'm sorry but I wasn't listening and yet the patients are usually not resentful when this occurs. To the contrary, they seem to understand intuitively that a vital element of the capacity to truly listen is being on the alert for those lapses when one is not truly listenening, and my acknowledgement that my attention has wandered actually reassures them that most of the time I am truly listening."

I value people who LISTEN well and I hope to be a good listener also!